This is just a short one… but those of you who know me know that I love a whinge about unhinged behaviour on public transport. If you enjoy my rants about such things, you’re in for a treat.

On our flight from Cartagena to Medellín, Alex and I weren’t sitting together as was budget airline and we felt our love could withstand 1.5 hours of separation.

We both had window seats, although as it turned out, Alex’s didn’t actually have a window for some reason.

I’ve sat down and made myself as comfy as can be in an airplane seat with just about enough legroom for a bloody corgi and have put my rucksack under the seat in front like a good citizen. In barges the person who is to sit next to me, complaining to me (as I judged from her tone) about something that I couldn’t catch due to poor grasp of Spanish language. I said the equivalent of “Sorry say that again a bit slower? I’m English and my Spanish isn’t so good. Sorry.” To which she just goes “Ah” with a shrug of the shoulders and proceeds to ignore me. Well I tried.

She shoved her enormous bag that is carry-on size, not handbag size, on the floor; it doesn’t fit under the seats, and she promptly puts her feet up on it which managed to encroach on my space. She’s pissed me off enough by now that I’ve assigned her a name that I deem to be the Latin American equivalent of “Karen” (apologies to anyone called Karen this is not a slight at you). Anyway, she is now Consuela to me (apologies to anyone called Consuela also).

Consuela proceeds to eat crackers, getting crumbs everywhere, watch videos on her phone on loud during the safety instruction, and puts her rubbish in behind the tray table. Ma’am, that is not a bin you heathen.

Rather than get riled, I plugged in my earphones and attempted to just ignore her… BUT SHE WAS NOT DONE. Apparently she desperately needed to take a photo out the window during take off so proceeded to PUSH ME BACK IN MY SEAT AND LEAN ACROSS ME IN ORDER TO DO SO. I shit you not, I took a photo of her doing it.

All I could do was glare at her in disgust in a sort of “are you fucking mad” kind of way.

She spends the entire flight watching videos on her phone on loud which I thankfully couldn’t hear due to headphones and an excellent playlist created by my dad in the mid 00s (Mark’s Mix 2, if you’re wondering).

Anyway, thanks for nothing, Consuela.

That said, the views out the window were phenomenal.