10-12/08/24

We landed in Cusco without a hitch and went out in search of our Uber, which randomly did a lap. Think it’s also semi legal here so they couldn’t loiter at the airport. The driver’s son was with him… probably about 11 years old and he was so cute. Explained the seatbelts were broken, asked if we spoke Spanish, if we like Peru and, importantly, if we like football. I explained that Alex did, and the kid promptly fetched his book of collected football cards from the sun-visor of the car and gave it to us to look at. He’d done pretty well! Most of the South American league and most of the Euros teams. He then put his cuteness to work and hustled for his dad, explaining that they could give us a tour of the salt mines if we wanted. We let him put his dad’s number in Alex’s phone to humour him.

We had asked them to take us to the “colectivo” which is a sort of semi-official transport system to the other towns, such as Ollantaytambo where we were headed (no, I can’t say it either). There were mini-buses for cheap or people carriers for a bit more. I had not realised this was the system when we arrived because they all pounced on us at once to try and get us to use their services. I thought it was super sketchy, but apparently it’s totally normal! We waited in a man’s people carrier whilst he went for more passengers. It was, I must say, a relief that the others were all local to Cusco; this is apparently the only affordable way to get to outlying towns!

It was about an hour and a half along “rural” roads, if I’m being kind. It was pretty uncomfortable with 6 passengers plus a dog! The playlist was outstanding though, called “Las Malvinas” (that’s the Falkland Islands to the Brits) it contained many a heartbreak song. You’ll be pleased to hear I wrote each song down as it played as I wanted to remember it forever, but also… who hurt the poor man? Enjoy:

• You’re beautiful – James Blunt
• F*ck It (I don’t want you back) – Eamon
• I’ll be missing you – Puff Daddy
• Stan – Eminem
• She will be loved – Maroon 5
• Feel – Robbie Williams
• The reason – Hoobastank
• Wake me up when September ends – Greenday
• Where is the love? – Black Eyed Peas
• By the way – Red Hot Chilli Peppers
• Boulevard of broken dream – Greenday
• Everybody’s changing – Keane
• Somewhere only we know – Keane
• Dilemma – Nelly and Kelly
• This love – Maroon 5
• Cryin’ – Aerosmith
• Angels – Robbie Williams
• Bad day – Daniel Powter
• Don’t cry – Guns n Roses
• Knocking on heavens door – an unknown female artist covering but maybe Avril Lavigne?

I tell you, it was an absolute rollercoaster. You can all thank me later.

The views weren’t bad either!

The final few hundred metres were cobbled and I tell you what when you need a wee this is not ideal. Thankfully, he had stopped to let some other cars past and it happened to be RIGHT next to our hostel. Talk about luck! I explained, we hopped out, got our bags, paid the man and shook his hand.

This was by far the cutest hostel we’ve stayed in thus far. I mean… there were a lot of steps which when you haven’t yet acclimatised to the altitude is pretty hard with a 10kg rucksack. We petted the resident dogs and a cat, and promptly had a nap.

Look at our cute room! It was a standalone cabin type thing.

Post nap, we walked into town and had a truly lovely dinner. I was STARVING and went big. A trout ceviche starter the size of my HEAD as well as a trio of grilled meat: alpaca, lamb and beef with salad and chips.

The still-suffering Alex had chicken and veg soup. Absolutely stuffed, I rolled home and went to sleep.

The following morning I woke early to see the light shining through a high up window. I chucked on some clothes and went out in the chilly morning air to see some absolutely stunning views! Unfortunately I also discovered that my camera had broken: the lens is malfunctioning so now only have my phone for photos.

After this I got back in bed for another hour and a bit because it was super cosy. We had simple breakfast provided by the hostel, bread, butter, jam, scrambled eggs, fruit and coffee. We decided to head into town initially with the idea of going into the local Inca ruins which are very interesting and highly rated. By the time we got there however, we realised that, it bring effectively day 1 of high altitude, a billion steps was perhaps not the smartest idea. So we contented ourselves with the local market selling handmade items by local Quechua people.

You better believe I took heavy interest in the textiles and had many questions lined up in bad Spanish. What is the yarn? How do you dye it? What plants make the dyes? How do you make that pattern? How do you make that item? It was great, I was loving life. Obviously I had to talk my way into buying some yarn which wasn’t generally out for sale but the lovely woman was thrilled that I was so keen! Disaster struck when I didn’t have quite enough money (she was asking 60 soles and I only had 50). I explained that I really want the yarn and want to pay 60 (I know, I’m terrible at haggling but honestly the amount of work that goes into the yarn I wasn’t about to be stingy) and she was incredibly trusting and happy to take 50 and I would come back later with the remaining 10. I guess one can reasonably assume that a dork getting excited about hand-spun hand-dyed alpaca yarn isn’t about to stiff you.

We returned to our hostel for a little lie down, but turned out I wasn’t so sleepy. So, I obtained more cash and went back into town for a few supplies and to pay the last 10 soles for my yarn. Whilst there I spoke to another craftswoman who was weaving belts. She explained what some of the motifs meant and how she created them, and I bought one because they are beautiful, whether to wear or hang on the wall. I also went for a little wander around some of the smaller alleyways of the town and they were all very charming!

What was the most surprising find, perhaps, was the small store called “Kwik-E-Mart” and fully done to recreate the one from The Simpsons. Our theory is that one of the local traditional deities in The Andes is Apu, which is the spirit of the mountains. Lots of restaurants had Apu in the name, so maybe a Simpsons fan decided to capitalise on the owner of Kwik-E-Mart also being called Apu. Anyway, very odd.

After that I felt the need for a refreshing beer in the sunshine, so went back to the place we had had dinner the night before and took in the views with a nice cold one.

Last view not so great but sure was memorable! Unsurprising on these roads and with the way they all drive (still posit that it’s not as bad as Colombia). Alex joined for beers and views and chats but as it got chillier, I went back to the hostel whilst he paid up so as to obtain more clothes for the evening. Vest top and shorts don’t cut it at night in these parts!

After confusing a screenshot with “live location” (no YOU’RE stupid) I found Alex for some happy hour pisco sours served by a boy who can’t have been much older than 15… I think they’re rather lax about the concept of child labour here. We had dinner somewhere that was fine, but not outstanding, and I really rather overdid it by ordering an entirely unnecessary starter of cheese parcels and avocado. Honestly that was enough by itself, but no I also ordered grilled trout which was excellent but the side salad and pot of quinoa risotto was just toooooo much.

Our third morning in Ollantaytambo got off to a sluggish start. Wasn’t feeling so spritely having eaten too much the night before and I’ll be honest I was a little sad to be leaving already! Really liked this town and the views of the surrounding mountains. We packed up our things, checked out (a little late) and headed to the train station, which was a bit of a walk. Damn did my rucksack feel heavy by the time we got there! We were rather early so found a nice cafe to hold up in where I had, honest to glob, the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had. Proper dark cacao in milk that’s very bitter and you sweeten yourself with sugar (I put rather a lot in and I’m not ashamed). It was so rich and delightful! I also had avocado on toast cos, ya know, ya girl’s basic.

We then went to the station where chaos reigned. Various different trains take you to Aguas Calientes, the jumping off point for Machu Picchu, and some go BIG with the entertainment factor. Bit cringe for us (also those trains were stupid expensive apparently).

The train was pretty bumpy so I was glad I had taken some Dramamine… motion sickness is no fun. The views were outstanding!

We arrived after about an hour and a half and I immediately spotted a lizard and a cat to befriend.

A short, steep walk up to hostel number 1 where I risked a shower in another murder shower (honestly they’re all terrifying with their open ventilation shafts) which was actually fine re heat and water pressure. We sorted our bags for our early, early start, had some dinner and went to bed. Next stop: Machu Picchu via a 4:30am alarm!